This is a blog what does a blog look like? This was a year - what does a year look like? I am writing so fast as fast as i can bc two people are sleeping around the corner and i don’t know when they will wake. No time to edit erase or think too hard lets just share it all out.
It is so hot right now just as hot as when we came. Sometimes i think it is two hundred degrees but then remember it is just our apartment is so much worse than outside even and wonder what happened to all of those great stone walls and big shady trees people were so into two hundred years ago?
Also the earthquake recently scared me so much and we told Rosie the earth was just hungry with a grumbly tummy but I could barely sleep. I wish we lived under the stars. Living in California i have become so used to no A/C or central heating that when we went back home home and everyone closed their windows and doors and sealed off the world - the silence at night kept me awake. I have come to love the night bugs and birds here.
We work work work work so hard and are trying our best to have fun. Succeeding with the fun more often now that Theo is blossoming into a little person. Someone Rosalie can relate to instead of just loathe from afar.
Still trying to learn the relationship between our creative work and money. But I think we are doing the best with what God gave us.
I never was much into “energies” until this year when realizing what a strong negative energy a toddler can carry and spill over and around and I have been learning how to battle that and be at peace with that and help Rosie find her positive energy too. But who am I kidding obviously she does it alone already but I do like trying to help. But man - already almost 3?? She is hardly a toddler anymore. Just a cowgirl astronaut 100%.
Theo is so passionate. I am thrilled by his joy and terrified of his anger. He has more muscle tone than jonny and i combined for sure. Sometimes i try to exercise but putting on workout gear feels like.. no time. And then working out in daily clothes feels like.. what are you doin weirdo. So i usually just dance around the house a little and cross my fingers for a tiny six pack.
Art is beautiful in my life this year. And strangely has not always been, and isn’t that weird? We live in the worst kind of culture and society to create a positive life long relationship with healthy art making.
Reading books about indigenous and eskimo art practices helped me a lot and also just being so busy and exhausted with kids that when I make art i have no time to be neurotic about it.
Even when jonny watched the babes while i painted for a week ... i found i only want to paint for about 3 hours then go back to watching kids/cooking/etc good ole domestic work because it keeps it all feeling light and fun and grounded. But I am loving that art making. Just wanna make cute stuff fun stuff stuff about celebration and tradition and history and nature and makeup - like... thinking... children’s books for sure actually just sent out my first one! And also freelance work and also giant paintings OF children’s book style work. I have been really into reading about Neo Pop lately. Had an epiphany via Rosalie the other day that although we sometimes talk about art making with children being the most simple and intuitive - which is true - they also teach us to be conceptual artists because they are the ULTIMATE conceptual artists and perhaps the lesson to be learned is that humans are innately symbol seeking beings. I can’t tell you how many times Rosalie says to me during a song or looking at pictures: “what’s it means” or “what’s it from”.
Over and over and over about EVERYTHING. Even basic phrases or images she already knows. Thank you teacher daughter.
Also cannot wait to get more into photography / music video making this year. Living in CA i have become a lot more aware of Western Native American culture/contemporary art. A few things at the downtown library, knottsberry farm, a nearby museum and a documentary our frienf just finished have kept it in my subconscious and I dont have much to say on here except that it is so heavy but so inspiring to see all of the people connected to that history moving forward and up and into more spotlights. They deserve to do that and much much more.
Will i go back to school soon? Can i feed my children the perfect nutritious and idyllic feasts of my dreams?
Am i becoming the weird actor of my 12 year old dreams ?? (A few projects going on RN involving different personas/aesthetics/names and where did that come from?? I guess my 12 year old broadway dreams maybe).
Going to start Crime and Punishment soon. Is it a joy to read? Or a punishment? Finally concluded that hair is like the nail of one’s head - so i should treat my hair like i treat my toenails or fingernails, right?
Short, utilitarian, but sometimes a pop of color to spice things up. Makes a lot of sense obviously.
Some more intimate friends may know of my hair philosophies and journies and shout out to Jonny Stallings my huz for dealing with my charming eccentricities. Can anyone really love him or his music more than I do? I assert that the answer is NAY.
We are excited to leave the traffic of LA behind and I can’t wait for him to spend hours making music instead of making catering runs. But I will miss that leftover tofu scramble.
Hope pigimichi lasts forever. Hope we get a 3 bedroom in San Diego.
Hope I can keep my life simple enough to enjoy all the beautiful things in it. Hope Rosie makes lots of new friends. Going to miss our great neighbors and friends here and all of the angels that have helped a grueling year of parenthood/workhood become a rosy (ROSIE lol) memory. We have changed a lot! Where did Jonny’s beard come from? Where did our children’s uncombable hair syndrome come from (thanks for the diagnosis kelsey)? Where did my platform crocs come from?
Please stay in our lives and keep us a part of yours - if you are reading this, I love you for it and I believe you love me too.
Peace out friends!
Oh man can’t wait for our jazz gig at a flower shop this weekend! But 4 hours and so fancy and I am actually so nervous, kind of dreading it now.
I really loathe this shade of purple - but am trying to work through it and become friends so let’s just lay it on nice and thick in the text I am thinking. Well. What else.
Motherhood and family is truly the richest goldmine of sweetness and pain. L.A. is truly a gritty paradise.
My hopes for the next five years in San Diego are truly just to be able to walk outside without shoes on and not see a car while listening to Jonny play some wacky piano tunes.